Life on the Ranch
Hotter than Satan’s Mixtape
Headed to the river yesterday and saw a fire hydrant chasing a dog. THAT is hot. The first batch of 5 babies are thriving, but with this heat (we actually had sidewalks buckle!), it seems the babies may not have sufficient appetite to meet milk production. Luna’s udder was so big and taut that every…
Read MoreOur Most “Popular” Nanny
Lucy is nothing if not horny. She is shameless and insatiable. You think things around here are this idyllic scene of gauzy-gowned girls and frolicking goats. Most of the gauze around here is used in First Aid applications. And Lucy the nanny is more interested in fornicating than frolicking. I know this because she broadcasts…
Read MoreGoing Quiet
This December we saw more guests than any December in the past. We had more bookings than most of the 4th quarters of years past. The draft mares started the Holiday season fresh and sassy, charging into their harnesses, always offering a canter and bucking if their offer was refused. That’s what a year off…
Read MoreMake Hay While the Sun Shines
The end of the year is always a big bang for us, the last big push to make some money before things go quiet around here for a few months. This week we’re booked solid with wagon rides and I’m tempted to add a few more days of availability to our schedule. It’s a tough…
Read MoreNo Nuts, No Glory
We can probably all count on one hand the number of times things go perfectly to plan. Yesterday I shoulda bought a lottery ticket. 6:00 am — up and fed the critters 6:30 am — found the elusive pet carrier needed to haul Zay-the-Billy-Goat-Soon-to-be-Wether (ZBGSW) 7:00 am – 8:00 am — coaxed, wrestled, shoved, pulled,…
Read MoreSaying Good-Bye
I don’t have to remind anybody that things aren’t all flowery goats and horse kisses here on the farm. And even though you know it and I know it, it still is devastating to lose a family member. (Yeah, I even get a little schmoopy when we have to process the chickens.) Losing a horse…
Read MoreAt Some Point You’ll See Me In My Pajamas
At some point you’ll see me in my pajamas and the real takeaway is that you should be glad I at least have clothes on. Sometimes the farming life dictates that you run outside in whatever you happen to have on. If that event occurs on a day that you planned to sleep in (I…
Read MoreDon’t Come Crying to Me with Your Bleeding Head Wound
I’m officially banned from all first-aid activities. “Don’t be concerned when I come in the house” said Jeff when he called me. I was inside. He was mowing with the tractor and brush hog. “Um, okay” I said, no clue what he could be talking about. He came through the door and headed to the…
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