At some point you’ll see me in my pajamas and the real takeaway is that you should be glad I at least have clothes on.

Sometimes the farming life dictates that you run outside in whatever you happen to have on.  If that event occurs on a day that you planned to sleep in (I made it to 6 am!  WOOO!), then there are good odds of you running outside in your Homer Simpson fleece pajama bottoms and a circa 1997 “Ordinary People Doing Ordinary Things” business retreat t-shirt with more holes in it than a sieve.

And so it was this morning when the sunrise swept over the vineyards with a deep pink glow.  I grabbed my camera and dashed outside.  Scanning the view, something caught my eye.  Three big adult coyotes by the bird coops!  Okay, so, first, I only like coyotes when they are NOT on my property.  It’s conditional love with very hard and fast conditions.  At that moment I did not love them.  They saw me and ambled away into the vineyards.  Once they crossed the line from being loathed to loved, I attempted to take photos.  Of course, I had the wrong lens.  The lens you use for a sweeping panorama is worthless for coyote portraits.

Then, I heard another noise behind me.  I bristled and turned, expecting a fourth coyote.

It was worse.  Way worse.  It was my neighbor and I’m going to be completely honest here: there are good neighbors and there are not.  She’s in the “not” category.  But there she was, out feeding her critters.

I froze, then looked for a place to hide my shame.  It was 8 am and I still hadn’t dressed myself.  The horror.  With no place to hide I resigned to my fate and decided instead to just own it.  Hell yeah, my hair was a mess.  Hell yeah, my pajamas look like recent retrievals from a dumpster.  And, hell yeah I was out there with my camera like some kind of social media influencer wannabe.

She didn’t seem to know I was out there.  That’s when I noticed her outfit.  Nothing near as awesome as Homer Simpson fleece bottoms, but she definitely was wearing pajama bottoms.

Seriously, pajama bottoms, a Carhartt, and rubber boots.

What is THAT about?!